Daddy, I'm still here

I guess I work through things with drawings. I have been drawing and painting all week. I guess that is how I mourn. I made this after we got the call that they found him. I have no way to explain how I feel. I can not put it into words. I could not make it to Alaska for the ceremony that the Hospital was having for the missing people of the helicopter. That is just beyond what I am capable at the moment. I miss him so much. I have moments where everything is crashing around me. I feel helpless. Everyone has been telling me it would get better over time. I’m sure after a while they might be right. But now, now I can’t function. I don’t know what to do.

People are wondering what happened. My father, John Stumpff, was a flight nurse in Alaska. On Monday, Dec 3 his flight went missing with him and three other people on it. They found my father on Saturday. He did not make it. It was a water crash. They have not found the pilot, paramedic or patient on the Lifeguard Alaska Helicopter. My heart goes out to the families of those still missing. The hospital is holding a ceremony up in Alaska for the tragedy, but I can not make it. I will be going to Kansas for his funeral next week, the 18th. I miss him every day.